Real advice, real brides.
- Jamie
- Apr 23
- 6 min read
I've collected some feedback and advice from a few of our previous and upcoming brides, and here is what they have to say!
Let's start with the brides who are currently planning their weddings...
You may see a common theme here....it seems as though no matter how long you have to plan your wedding, how much help you have or how much preparation you've done....a bride will usually worry about something, anything going wrong. Planning is definitely a must, and managing a budget, but I think that telling a bride or couple not to worry falls on deaf ears. We all know that telling someone not to stress doesn't just make it magically go away. If that worked, I would be stress-free!
"I am most worried about something going wrong the day of the wedding. Whether it be the boys not getting ready on time. We all know how boys can be, lol. Or additional people coming who have not RSVPd and not having enough food."
Based on the inevitable, it's important to be a little open-minded about what "perfect" looks like. I like to encourage all of my couples that things may not go EXACTLY as planned, but it's our job as the venue and your day of coordinator to make sure all of the "imperfections" happen behind the scenes and that we shield what we can from our couples. Also, sometimes those "imperfections," like a deer running across the ceremony site or even rain (yes, even rain!!) can create memories that you'll look back on one day and be thankful for. A perfect wedding day is the day that you and your forever love get to create a union...and no matter what happens, it will be it's own version of perfect. Try not to sweat the small stuff, it will all happen just as it should. As far as running out of food, this is where your RSVP comes in. My advice is to have a cut-off date for collecting your RSVPs, and close that down on that date. Some websites (if you're collecting RSVPs using a website) will allow for you to shut the link down and send out a message to those who missed the cutoff. That RSVP is important to give the best estimate to your caterer, along with the venue set up for tables and chairs, and ordering your alcohol! Also, caterers will usually have a "cushion" for the amount of food they prepare - they don't want you to run out either, as that is a reflection on the caterer, even when it's not their fault! Trust me, all of your vendors want everything to go smoothly for a successful wedding.
Another upcoming bride says....
"What I am most stressed about is how the day is going to go and if my vision is going to come to life. Also, what kind of help I will have since I have done all the planning myself"
Like I mentioned above, most brides will worry about how the day will go, and if everything will go as planned. It's understandable! Planning for something that you've never done before, having so many things to organize and plan for, and doing it all for a space that isn't "yours' is hard. I schedule 3 planning sessions with my couples. This allows for me to connect with them, we plan for things such as floorplan, the flow of the guests, decorations, and this also allows for them to come see the space a few times. I can't imagine decorating a space that I am not familiar with - very overwhelming!
Making sure you have a good group of helpers is a must on decorating day! This is also a day when so many memories can be made. Bring in breakfast, have some laughs with your close friends and family, and knock it out! Having a solid, dependable team will help to alleviate any unnecessary stress.
Now on to some of our previous brides...
"Leading up to the wedding, I was worried about making sure that everything was preplanned and perfect, but between the family that I had helping me and you and your amazing mom (love you both!), the support and extra hands that I had helping me made it to where I didn't have to worry. That, and it finally clicked the day before that things would happen how they would happen and all I had to do was be there and enjoy the day!
My favorite memory from my wedding is the feeling of joy and peace that I had not having to worry about anything and just getting to be in the moment (which is rare for me because I am a very anxious overthinker typically)."
This is exactly how I would summarize the goal of a wedding day. The feeling of joy and peace. We want our couples to arrive on their wedding day being able to let go of any stress and take it all in. Knowing that the planning is finished and now it's time to BREATHE, and enjoy the moments. In the end, all that matters is that you get to marry your best friend. Our job at the venue is to do everything we can leading up to your day to help you feel prepared and ready. Our job on wedding day is to, first and foremost, make sure all contractual obligations have been met, and that we are there to assist where we can to serve you and your families.
When asking one of my recent brides about her worries and advice she'd share with other brides, she was full of great advice!
"I worried about impressing people more than anything, now looking back the only people I needed to impress were my husband and I. Do what makes YOU happy, and everything else fall into place.
Try to remember that the day is about you and who you are marrying. It's not about trying to impress others or to please them. Trying to please others adds on more stress than what is needed, and in the end, it really is a waste of energy. Focus on what you and your groom want!
A piece of advice I would give...
"Don't sweat the small stuff. Something will always "go wrong" on your big day."
"Make a checklist of everything you need!!! I forgot the marriage license and my bouquet at home and my MIL went and got it for me."
I couldn't have said it better myself...
"Choose a photographer that best suits you. No one will remember the food that you served, what flavor cake you had, the decorations you spent HOURS making, but everyone will always be able to look back at the photos from that day. Make them worth it."
Yesssssss. This!!! Those photographs are so important, make sure you choose a photographer that you jive with and one that you're familiar with their work. It will be a full day of working with them, so make it count!
"The people that you thought would never miss your big day will surprise you. Remember your day is nowhere near as important to others as it is to YOU."
So true. Another reason why you just need to focus on what makes YOU happy!
"Always, always, always have a trial for your makeup and hair prior to big day. This will save you in so many ways."
"Choose your color scheme and run with it. If you are open to it, check second hand wedding decor (Facebook Marketplace, etc) and see what they have to offer, if you set your color scheme before hand, it might make it more difficult to find decor for sale."
These bits of wisdom only come from a handful of our brides, but all of it is true and we see the same themes in almost every wedding. Focus on what the true meaning of your wedding day is, don't stress about things that may not even get noticed, and try your best not to worry about what others think. I love traditionalism as much as the next person, but I also love that these days, there really are not rules to weddings. Don't worry about what grandma thinks about the way the wedding party is walking down the aisle, and don't worry about what Aunt Sally thinks about not doing your bouquet toss - the Wedding Day is about you and your soon to be husband and/or wife. Nothing else. Soak it all in and enjoy each other!
And THANK YOU to my brides who took time out of their busy schedules to help me with this blog! Your advice and words are worth so much to me, and to those other stressed brides out there!
Until next time…
Did you know…when you choose a locally-owned wedding venue you are helping to develop and improve the local economy? Your locally-owned wedding venues are small business owners who create hundreds of jobs for the local wedding industry every year.
Here are some of my fellow locally-owned wedding venues:
And a shout out to one of my regular photographers and one of my new favs!
A.C Photography (facebook.com)
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